So, my last post began my almost entire week of sadness and depression. It was a bit pathetic now that I look back at it...but I won't regret it. I think in the redemption from my pity-party, I began to notice things about me and my heart that I have never recognized as my own before. Like, I struggle to let God control everything around me in response to fear. I know this is what many of us struggle with...but when do you actually take it up as your own struggle? When does it become real?? It finally is real to me. Not only do I understand but I am for once in my life, reacting to change it. I recognize that I cannot change anything about myself without constant communication and help from Jesus, through reading the Word, much conversation with Him, and talking to other women.
I'm also trying to take up the truth that I am too hard on myself. There is a time to be sorry, but I guess I word it outloud a lot harsher than I intend, and I believe what I say out loud, therefore changing what I really believe and taking on more than I need to. I am now asking God to change that about me too. I think maybe the only way I do this is from trying to focus on Him and surrender my earthly desires each day, resulting in me trying to control things instead of accepting His grace for what it is. I want to change.
No comments:
Post a Comment